3:15 am

when your days turned bad and you're feeling lost, your heart feels empty while your tears keep falling down and you feel your chest is in a real pain but somehow you believe in Allah's perfect plans for every single human in this world, keep your chin up, smile beautiful 🌹


couldn't ask for more because I am so grateful for everything. Family and close friends give endless kind of support to show how sincere they are and to make me feels that I am important to them, well said that Allah will replace all of your sadness or bad things in life with happiness and you just have to wait for it, put your trust in Allah. 

___

some people choose to leave after years of together and some would choose to leave in a real short time of knowing—some built long speech of reasons and some just leave things unsaid but somehow both of it take the most part in heart, silently breaking apart. 

Sometimes, I do feels myself in such a weak condition which I only want to lying down on my bed without doing anything and sometimes I really want to cry a river just to let things go free from my mind and scream loudly and sometimes when it is raining I would keep staring outside through the window and let myself drown into it, I truly hate these kind of things which is feel like I am just standing still and let the bullets hurts myself—but alhamdulillah, somehow I prefer to keep myself busy with housework, planting, keep meeting close friend and hang out together, keep myself more busy for Allah too, which is kind of therapy for me 😍

Always remember that there will always Allah's perfect plans for you, as a muslim, we should plan as many as we can for life and let the rest of things to Allah.

as reminder for myself and also everyone who can accept this;
block negativity and don't let it lead to depression, it is somehow can kill. 


may your upcoming days would be beautiful and fills with lots of happiness 🌸

LAZADA | REVIEW

this is random, it is not a sponsored-post or any related. Just want to make this entry after receiving a parcel that I've order from Lazada.

I order a sunglasses. I just choose the one that I want with of course at the range of affordable price and without checking which brand it is or how the packaging is like which is basically me. yeah.
But the packaging is better than expected, first expression was like 'wuu'
I know it would come with a box of course to cover it up and also a pouch to put the sunglasses, but I don't know, it looks so great, like branded stuff ahaha~ (so jakun and teruja)

the box

this is so nice with the label of the brand ; Hepidem Wolf



okay yes, yes I am using my phone to take all of my photos 😎

this is not my first time to shop at Lazada, so far it is great 💖
yeay!

The Tale of the Three Whisperers



Once upon a time, there were three wise siblings. The eldest is Doubt, followed by his two younger brothers; Mind and Heart. Heart was so loved by his two elder brothers that whatever Doubt and Mind did, it would always narrowed down to one resolution : to protect Heart.

But most of the time, Heart had a decision of his own. He knew all along that he was fragile and breakable, but Heart was the type of person to put others first before him. He didn't mind breaking, as long as the others can be whole. This noble act is the very hammer that crush him every single time.

Then one day, a man came to the three wise siblings to seek for an advice.

The million-dollar question : Should I?

Doubt whispers ; no.
You'll stumble and fall in the middle of the road
You'll get confused in the intersections
You'll scrape your knee on the tarmac of difficulty, and you won't have the strength to make it to the end.
You'll break Heart, and you cannot bear the anogy that comes with it.
The price is too unaffordable.
No. Doubt whispers again.

Mind whispers ; no.
Doubt could be right,
All these difficulties ahead of you,
will exceed your breaking point.
And I know yourself well, hitherto it is the mind who controls you.
Don't risk an obvious failure.
I won't risk Heart, so precious
but carries so much pain in the cracks of his vessels.
That once Heart breaks, the pain unleashed will of course weight you down on you next.
No. Mind whispers again.

But...
Heart whispers : yes.
Don't you remember me, young man?
I am so used to be broken.
All your life has been a journey to search to search for the missing pieces of me.
Give it a try, my friend.
You'll either find the pieces of me, or
you'll break me down even further.
I don't mind both.

Tell my beloved brothers that no matter how hard they try to protect me -
The Heart is meant to wound and heal.
And I have a little friend right here to strengthen me;
The one you call Hope.

Now you know why some decisions you make are completely against your mind and doubt? Yes, blame Heart. Heart can be a little bitch, so persuasive, so irresistible but in the end it is Heart that you will follow.

Because Heart is your very own existence, your very own core, your very own soul's door.


*
source from twitter, I bet this is one of the story from a book but I don't know the tittle of the book, would love to know if you can share it :)

if you love her, don't destroy her.

By poliside, source from twitter.

I know you love her.
If you didn't, you wouldn't be with her. But since you're only a human being with variable emotions, you might be inclined to love her in all the wrong ways.

A healthy, happy relationship can transform into a destructive one if you treat her less than how she deserves to be treated.

Nonetheless, I hope you try to love her right. I hope you cast every ray of awareness upon your love for her. I hope you know that awareness is what keeps a relationship strong.

And what floored you the most was her completeness.

If you love her, keep her this way. Keep her beautiful, keep her wild, keep her complete.

While she's the master of her own fate, I wish you understood that you play a major role in her life. How you treat her determines how she views herself—you can make her shine or make her feel lost. She's a statue in your hands she only hopes to be held with vigilance.

If you love her, don't destroy her.

Know that she was destroyed before and another destruction isn't what she's aiming for. If she's with you, know that she has stepped over her fear and insecurities to be with you. She has stepped over her past and decided to give love another chance. She has entrusted you with the health of this relationship—and with her heart.

Don't let her down.

You destroy her the moment you think you know her. She's not a book you will eventually finish. She's something yet to be discovered—so live every day as if you're meeting her for the first time.

Be present. Nothing destroys her more than your emotional absence. You can sit with her all day long and not really be there, yet you can be so far away and be completely present.

Stimulate her thoughts,
her emotions,
her being.
Dive into her soul like you'd dive into an ocean.

Know that you'll wreck her if she ever felt you need her rather than want her. You'll destroy every inch of her if you only love her when loneliness creeps up on you. Because she seeks your love in all moments, not just when your fears and insecurities strike.

I know that your own past sufferings may have destroyed you. But don't love her just so she can carry your emotional baggage  with you. Don't love her if you only want her to fix you. Know that she will, with time, without you even knowing.

Her love and existence will heal every part of you. But if you are with her solely to fill the emptiness inside you, she will know—and it will destroy her.

And remember, she doesn't want to be fixed either. Maybe she opened up to you and told you about her painful past. Perhaps you know the exact number of pieces she was turned into. But she didn't tell you so you would fix her—she only told you so you can know what she endured and how it made her who she is today.

She wants you to acknowledge that your actions toward her—actions motivated by love, understanding and patience—are what matter.

Don't treat her like a broken woman. She is complete with all her pieces, even though they may still be scattered everywhere. Embrace them with her—just don't add to them. Make her see why she went through destructive relationships in the past. Make her realize that she went through the 'worst' so she could appreciate the 'better' that you are.

tentang kekasih setia

Ketahuilah semua apa yang kalian semua sudah mengetahui, untuk menunggu itu suatu yang memeritkan. Di sini aku selitkan kisah sama ada benar atau tidak, pasti ianya pernah berlaku. Biar aku failkan setiap satu isi sudut di dalam hati seorang kekasih menunggu kekasih hati.

Aku bukan pengarang hebat yang mampu menarik minat dengan hanya kisah tersendiri, tapi setiap antara kita punya jalan cerita masing-masing dan setiap yang berlaku aku pilih untuk tulis, catat, taip. Supaya bila berinjak dewasa; bakal aku selak bacaanku, menatap baris ayat yang aku olah, satu hari "tak sangka aku pernah melalui hal-hal ini," gitu.

Biar saja jika cerita ini aku tambah biar sedap dibaca, tapi asal isi kisah ku ini dihayati dan difahami, buat semua. 

;

Sunyinya dan sepinya membelenggu jiwa-jiwa penghuni rumah ini. Setelah khabar berita anak sulung ibu yang tidak dapat pulang akibat kerja semuanya bagai muram. Aku tahu berita yang aku sampaikan itu terkena pada jiwa perempuan tercintaku ini. Jujur sebenarnya tak mahu aku khabarkan berita sedih itu kepada ibu, tapi kalau tidaknya dikhabarkan bukankan penungguan itu bakal jadi yang sia-sia? 

Walaupun aku tahu selepas berita itu dikhabarkan, ibu masih tetap akan menunggu dan akan sentiasa menunggu. Cuma bezanya jika tidak diberitahu, ibu akan selalu bertanya, diminta bertanya khabar anaknya yang jauh, diminta record suaranya melalui whatsapp; katanya biar anaknya tahu si ibu sentiasa merindui dan biar anaknya melepas rindu mendengar, begitu penjelasannya. 

Aku tahu ibu sudah terluka.

Aku juga tahu ibu rindu, siapa yang tak rindu anak oi. Tambah-tambah pula susah mahu bersatu, kalau berkumpul pun tak selalu lama. Aku tahu ibu pendam, setiap kali berkumpul ibu sering menatap wajah seorang demi seorang anaknya, tumpah kasihnya tak pernah berhenti, adakah kalian semua faham akan perasaan anak bongsu seperti aku ini yang sentiasa ada bersama ibu, tidak jauh, sentiasa ada, aku sudah hafal semua reaksinya, bahasa tubuhnya, perlakuannya.

Aku tak mahu bersuara kerna aku tahu, pabila aku bersuara semua bakal aku luah, ungkit biar terasa kesal mereka, hanya satu sebabnya aku tahan-- ibu.

Aku tak kisah kalau tidak pulang, tapi rindu ibu itu selalu--begitu juga dengan aku.
Aku tak kisah kalau tidak pulang, asal sentiasa berhubung, bertanya khabar, biar hati si ibu girang.
Aku tak kisah kalau tidak pulang, walau sibuk terlalu, asal jika ada masa yang singkat, luang,
mesej pun sudah bermakna.
bukankah ini semua buat wanita yang sudah bersusah payah melahirkan kita?
kenapa terlampau berkira?

Aku tahu.
Aku sebagai seorang anak pun bukanlah selalu menjaga.
Aku juga sedar terkadang sebagai anak terlepas juga bicara menyakitkan hati ke orang tua.
Aku juga sudah sedar yang terkadang kita ini melukakan hati orang tua di luar keinginan yang sebenar.

Aku tahu.
Aku juga seorang anak,
yang punya orang tua,
sama seperti kalian semua.

(sudah aku peram episod ini dari raya 2016, entah mengapa jangan ditanya)